Discovering the Real Meaning of Love - Life Notes to File

Discovering the Real Meaning of Love

First and foremost I’m sorry if there was no activity in my blog in the past few weeks. While my blog was quiet there were some big things going on with me personally.

My family from overseas and out-of-state visited me and we went on a road trip for a few days. It was a big adventure for us, which involved stops in four cities, visits to two rural farms, 2 boat rides, lots of food and many hours in the car.

I also turned 40 years old a couple of weeks ago and for the first time after 20 years, I celebrated my birthday with my parents. I felt like a teenager again!

Having this chance to spend some time with my family made me think again of the real meaning of love. I’ve thought a lot about love for family and friends. After all these years, I’ve discovered that love is:

Not Bound by Distance or Time

No matter the distance, whether you live in different cities or countries, your love and relationship will be the same.

The same goes for time. It should not matter if you have not seen your family and friends for a week, or perhaps for many years. When you see each other, it’s just like picking up where you left of.

Not Forgetting but Truly Forgiving the Hurts You’ve Received

Forgiveness may be one of the hardest things to do in the world for you. Many times it is easier to forget. But forgetting does not heal the wound but it only masks the pain. Eventually the pain will resurface again.

Love helps in healing and in paving the way to true forgiveness.

Knowing the Emotional Needs of Your Loved One/s and Doing Your Best to Meet Them

Examine the emotional needs of the person you love and do your best to provide it to them.

If they are going through rough times and instead of constantly being checked, truly needs space to breathe, then give them that space. If they need somebody to talk to, to share all their heartaches and disappointments, but does not need to be given advice, then be there to just listen.

Understanding that Your Loved One/s Doesn’t Speak Fluently All the Different Languages of Love

Dr. Gary Chapman has published many books on the five languages of love. This article by Dr. Chapman summarizes the following five languages of love:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Receiving gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch

All of these are ways to express your love to another. You may be good at giving gifts but may not be so good with all the other languages. That is the same for those whom you love.

I believe love itself means understanding that people have their own primary language for expressing love.

Accepting the Not so Perfect 

The hard truth is that love is not perfect, unlike what the media typically presents to you. Despite the good and the beauty of love, there are a lot of obstacles, challenges and imperfections.

But part of loving is accepting the not so perfect. May it be a judgmental nature, a tinge of selfishness, or a troubled past, love means accepting it all.

 

Sources:

Chapman, Gary. “Understanding the Five Love Languages.” Focus on the Family, November 5, 2017, https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication-and-conflict/learn-to-speak-your-spouses-love-language/understanding-the-five-love-languages.

 

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